Last Valentine’s Day, Marty got me a book titled, One Line a Day. He thought it would be perfect for me since I’m so horrible at committing to blogging every day, let alone once a month! (I’m working on it…)
The point is to write one line about your day, per day. It has five spaces on each page for you to write your one line for the next five years. It’s genius, really. So, now that it has been one year since I received this gift, I can start to look back at my lines from 2014.
2015 is already starting MUCH better than 2014, I must say. I’m in a better place emotionally, financially, mentally…but something is still missing.
I have this hole that’s slowly growing inside of myself ever since I stopped regularly frequenting those radio station halls. I go back ever so often to fill in, but it’s not the same. I still have that gnawing in the back of my head that’s telling me if I don’t step up my game soon, I will lose my chance to ever break it into the radio industry.
I could be bitter and blame money as the reason for my departure from radio, but honestly it’s a bit more complicated than that.
Still…that drive, that passion to tell stories, to tell the stories of those unheard, bypassed, ignored…it isn’t being fulfilled. I no longer spend time trying to understand why I wasn’t picked to do this or that, or why I am not being called upon to help on this or that, because it’s useless. It doesn’t build me. It doesn’t strengthen me. It just gives me an excuse to give up and to stop trying.
You grind in your 20s, that’s what “people” say. You grind in your twenties so you can build in your thirties and you can enjoy your forties. But what if I want to grind, build and enjoy before I’m 40? Is that possible any more? Or is paying your dues now extended by 5 years since the economy went to shit and companies are raking the rewards of cheap labor from college graduates, who are desperate to make it on their own, no matter the physical, mental or emotional cost?
So, how am I going to stand out? How am I going to grind, build and enjoy? How am I going to tell those untold stories? How am I going to fill my one line a day?