So, I recently announced via Facebook, of course, that my boyfriend and I will be moving to West to Northern California. As a lot of people know, I was born there. My family relocated to the Chicago area for my dad’s job, but we always made an effort to go back to California at least twice a year. As a lot of my friends know, I’ve always wanted to go back.

And yet, what a “surprise” it was when our announcement was made. Some frequently asked questions have included:

• What’s wrong with Chicago? You don’t like it here? Is this a rhetorical question or should I pull out my reporter’s notebook full of explanations + stats?
• Are you moving because you got a new job? No, I’m moving because my CURRENT job allows me to live wherever the fuck I want. So, why wouldn’t I move to the place I’ve wanted to go back to the last 20 years?
• Isn’t it incredibly expensive to live there? How will you survive just freelancing? First of all, I’ve survived living in Chicago working 75+ hour weeks at TWO jobs paying me minimum wage. Second of all, it’s like every other place in the world: there are some areas that are crazy mucho doll-hairs, while there are more affordable areas. Third of all, read this article and make your own judgments on what freelancing means for the “typical” work industry.
• Where are you going to get your water? I’m moving to Northern California w/ trees & greenery vs. Southern California w/ desert & hot hot sun. Of course, the North is beating the South in the war of precipitation.
• They have medical marijuana there…can you get me weed?! No. Clearly, you haven’t visited a dispensary in Colorado or other pot friendly state…or county jail.
• Are you and your boyfriend going to get married since you’re moving across the country!? No. N-O! What in the hell does moving have to do with marriage? THERE IS NO DIRECT CONNECTION. We’ve already been living together for 2 years, have had a beloved pet die, family member die, & shared ONE BATHROOM IN A STUDIO APARTMENT. Moving across the country will not turn on the marriage lightbulb in our heads. It’s still burnt out.

I may update this list as more ridiculous questions occur. But hopefully this post prevents any further stupidity from happening. Thanks, Friends!